I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize