pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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