garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
