Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
