I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
