Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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