I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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