Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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