He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
