I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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