I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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