She said her name was "party"
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
