Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
