im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
