Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
