marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
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