Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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