Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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