# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
