The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize