yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Send help, water and tortillas.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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