I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
