I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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