Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Randomize
