Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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