I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
