So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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