It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Randomize
