Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
People in love make me want to vomit
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize