Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Blood and glitter go together right?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Drunk is a universal language darling
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
