dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Randomize
