Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
