I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
