You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
