Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
