GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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