Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
