I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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