he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
