Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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