Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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