so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
