I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
