my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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