ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Bring me that man meat
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
