The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
