May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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