May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
