i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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