drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
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