how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
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