Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
