i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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