The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
