well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
