I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
