He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
