Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize