once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
