Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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